ME and FM
Chronic Fatigue & Pain Related Illnesses
People who have CFS, M.E. or Fibromyalgia all share the same attributes that they are the opposite of lazy! In fact their “driven” personal quality, in my opinion is at the root of all their conditions.
These are my personal thoughts on chronic fatigue and pain related illnesses and how to rid yourself of it. It relates to two years of dedicated study and working with clients with ME, CFS and Fibromyalgia.
So here is my theory and why I believe that a “talking” therapy can impact on a physical illness. To remove all doubt I will state straight away that people with chronic fatigue and pain are neither lazy nor is it “all in their heads”. In fact despite all sufferers having different symptoms and levels of incapacity they are united in one thing – their story of how it started and progressed. Every single one of them regularly pushed themselves to their physical and mental capacity. These people are the exact opposite of lazy, hence their understandable frustration and sensitivity to people thinking they are or that they bring it on themselves. It was these matching stories and my experience of dealing with various physical illnesses through talking therapies that led me to discover the way I think the illness started and therefore an idea as to how someone could be helped to recover.
See if this is your story!
You are likely to be a highly driven person and have always pushed yourself to the limit, often more than your body can cope with, often with a greater concern for looking after others than yourself. It all starts with one or more of the following; a viral infection, severe stress or a traumatic accident/incident (the trigger). Several weeks later when you anticipate you should be feeling better, you now have the illness that gives you the chronic fatigue and pain symptoms. This continues for many years, if not for life, whilst you become more and more frustrated by lack of diagnosis, answers or remedies. You may even accumulate more illnesses as your immune system overloads. At some point you will feel so low for so long that your internal voice will keep repeating a phrase that reflects the terrible thought that you are never going to recover. As you rarely look poorly you also have the issue of not only feeling very ill but having to convince others that you are. Their comments are far from helpful and are in total opposition to the driven person you know you are. This adds to the pressure and continues the downward spiral. At times you may be lucky enough to feel a bit better but whilst playing catch up with life you find it is the fatigue and pain that catches up!
I have checked this story out on many ME and Fibromyalgia forums and have yet to find anyone this story does not fit. The fact that no two people have the same set of symptoms or degree of debility is why no cure has been found so far and is why pharmaceutical companies will not invest in research. However it is the lack of the same symptoms and the fact that only the stories match that led me to my conclusion.
We all have an excellent survival mechanism that is run by the same part of the brain that controls all your bodily parts and functions. I believe that in order to protect you in a situation of severe overload it shuts you down. Not just a trip switch it actually carefully shuts you down in the best way for YOU to ensure your immobility and even dampens your mental capacity. This is to conserve energy to recover from whatever initial trigger occurred and to stop you from doing further damage (in the same way doctors put people in a coma to recover from head injuries). It stays like that until it is convinced you won’t carry on in the same “driven” way. Unfortunately “driven” is your nature and the more you fight the illness the more it thinks you need to be immobilised, hence why this goes on for years or you never recover!
Pain and Fatigue are natures way to stop you, as is brain fog and blurred vision (so you can’t even watch TV). Your survival mechanism actually could not have done better for you, thanks to its totally unique blend of symptoms designed especially for stopping you! Whilst that was a great defence at the time, stopping you from possibly fatal consequences, it is now the protective shield you are pinned under!
It is no coincidence that many of your symptoms will be similar to stress related illnesses such as: bowel problems, fatigue, brain fog, changing vision, autoimmune problems and unwarranted pain. This is because you are now constantly in a stressed state, being in a situation you have no control over.
I suggest a two stage approach:
1, To change how hard you are on yourself (you listening to your body).
2, An intervention to reset the survival instinct process (your body listening to what you want).
In a nutshell you will have to learn to love and care for yourself and put yourself first!
Number 1 is for you to develop and understand at a deep level that you need to listen to your body, that you can’t do it all, that others can help, that feeling guilty for what you cannot do is unhelpful and that you need to look after yourself in order to effectively help others. As the flight attendant says “Should the oxygen masks fall down please put your own on first before helping others”. Quite frankly if you will not listen to your body, it will not listen to you.
Number two is relatively easy, after you accept the need to listen to and accept your body’s messages. The survival instinct is part of the unconscious ways we process thoughts and information and is open to language communications when accessed in the right state. Techniques such as NLP or Hypnosis are particularly suitable.
For the best chance of recovery both 1 and 2 need to work together. You need to be dedicated to work on listening to your body so that the survival instinct will be convinced you will change and therefore release you. Because it is part of your own unconscious there is no way you can fool it into thinking you have changed, if you have no intention in doing so. The good news is that as soon as you are convinced of this you can start on the road to recovery even before attempting part 2. I am working on self help materials for you to access, please register to be notified.
These are my own personal views and you can provide your own. I appreciate your positive and helpful feedback towards a better understanding of these debilitating illnesses. Disclaimer
If you wish to share this information please feel free to use the buttons at the bottom of the page. Please do not extract text as I want to avoid misunderstanding and protect those with these illnesses from insensitive material that may appear out of context.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, Steven
“Check out my friend…Steven Blake……he is awesome. Please all of you….read this….and pass it on to someone you know with M.E……This man changed my life……. “ Lynda (My first client)
“A wonderful therapist Steven understands the mind and body connexion in illness and is passionate to help people enjoy health and happiness” John Edward Boulton
“Since i met Steven 4 months ago he has helped me greatly with various health issues I’ve been battling with. I was still in recovery from Hepatitis C and he has helped me a lot. My immune system was very low and my metabolism felt very sluggish. One of the first hypnotherapy sessions he did with me was to boost my metabolism which I feel has really helped my energy levels. He has helped me with asthma and allergies, and also recurring bad memories from a negative relationship. He has also helped me deal with major and minor aches and pains. He keeps up with the leading research on health and makes brilliant connections for himself which takes his work further. I’ve also watched him work with others and seen wonderful sustained results. I would thoroughly recommend him to anyone for any health issue.” Aline MacInnes – Counsellor & Holistic Therapist
“It’s hard to remember what happens in a session with Steven because the work is very complete and the urge is to just move on without the problem, and I have. What I do remember is that Steven’s presence was kind and thoughtful and I felt it very easy to be totally honest with him. His obvious skill at finding resolutions to difficult states of mind made it very easy to trust the process he guided me through.” Carol Rudd –Psychotherapist and Author
Steven is a talented and skillful coach and NLP Master Practitioner. He has exceptional rapport skills and approaches life and work with charm and good humour. I can whole heartedly recommend him to people who wish to improve their lives and work with someone who truly cares. Kate McCartney – NLP Master Practitioner and NLP Trainer
- End -